Monday, July 27, 2009


I guess I'm a horrible blogger.

But that's ok because I'm a great mom. Ha.

I feel bad that i haven't really had the time or energy to get online and blog. Plus I'm always scared that I'l get really into my blog and he'll wake up and I won't finish and blah, blah, blah. So I'm gonna keep this short.

Eric and I are doing great. He's a fussy little baby but its mostly because he's gassy. My brother thinks he may be lactose intolerant and I'm starting to think so myself. It may just be the way he eats though.

And look at this shit...he's waking up. Oh well.
More when I can.

Monday, July 6, 2009

My Pussy Hurts

I'm a mommy now.

You have no idea how that feels...unless you're a mother. In that case, yeah you know what I'm talking about. It is surreal. Quite possibly the most out of this world experience you could ever think to face.

First of all...labor. That shit was rude and intense. I have never experienced such pain in all my life and pray to God I never have to endure it again. Seriously. if I get pregnant again, i'm going to request a C-section. I screamed so loud.....and what's worse is that Eric was born at 3:39 AM. Most of the other women in that ward of the hospital were sleeping and I woke them all up. I cursed loud as hell in front of my mother. That was horrible. I concentrated really hard on not doing that more than once. Eric was a doll baby through the entire process. When they held my legs up and I had to push, he was offering me the sweetest words of encouragement. I really didn't know he had it in him.

When I saw him for the first time....I don't even know if there are words to describe the emotions I was feeling. Well...relief would be first because I had just pushed a 7 pound 10 ounce baby out of my vagina. Besides that? An overwhelming sense of and compassion...and loss. Its so odd to not have him inside of me any longer. It really feels like a part of me is missing. But now I get to see his face.


Months and months of waiting have finally paid off! He's the most handsome man child I could have ever hoped to have. He's absoluetly beautiful. I love him more than anything. And thats the scariest thing of all. To love someone so completely, so thoroughly, without the slightest hint of doubt is terrifying. Today i heard him crying and I sprinted up the steps to find out what ailed my sweet prince. Nothing at all. his fat ass was just hungry. but the second I heard him crying I HAD to be there...because I love him and he needed me. I don't know...mothers understand. But yeah...he's great. Quite the mover...he already can roll onto his side. I don't think he knows he can...but it won't take long I'm sure. His neck is super strong...he can already hold his head up for at least 10 seconds at a time. He has a bit of trouble latching onto my nipple but we're working on it. it's only been just over a week.

Oh yeah! His birthday will always be exactly 3 weeks before mine! Which means people will forget about mine but that's ok. I'm used to being ignored. Now how I'm doing? Fine I guess. Tired. My crotch really hurts...well not really but there's like a dull ache. I got like 4 seperate stiches...and none on my perinium. I ripped inside. And that's all the gory details. I'm about to go take a nap.


Oh yeah. My smexy beast.