Happy Birthday Eric!!

Amazing how I'm never doing anything yet I generally don't post very often. It slips my mind I guess. Eric is the internet buff, not I.

Speaking of mon amour, it's his 20th birthday today!!! I'm really excited because I got him some gifts I've been wanting to get him for a while. I'm afraid of his reaction. We usually tell each other what we're getting the other to ensure that no mistakes are made. I wanted to genuinely suprise him this time. Its nothing big or shiny or amazingly expensive, but I did listen to what he'd been saying and applied that to my purchases. Plus I've known him long enough to know he'll appreciate it. I plan on getting all pretty to go see him. He hasn't seen me in makeup in God knows how long but he will today! I'm turning it out!! Maybe he'll take pictures....

So my mom bought a changing table for the baby. It's white...thank God. My room is very bright so I was loathing her finding any deals on dark wood furniture for the baby. We both have to start cleaning out my room so that we can fit all this shit in it. I'm excited. I really am. I like decorating. Had an ultrasound on Wednesday. This baby is 2 freaking pounds already!! It doesn't feel like it. I don't think I'm gonna get much bigger. My belly is rounding out but its not actually growing much. I was fatter than this this time last year. I keep telling people that and they don't believe me. I'm like "This weight? This is one fuck of a comfort after last year!" Oh well. It doesn't matter.

I'm really getting tired of this having to piss so bad thing. It feels like I can't go out in public because I never know when I'm going to have to run off the bus to go. I almost did that yesterday but I just crossed my legs and kept singing. That helps but my mom says soon enough that won't help. When I have to go....I need to go. Oh well. I've decided to try and stop complaining(at least out loud) about the negative parts of pregnancy. I have started to notice many positives. Like, I never stand on the bus or subway anymore. EVER. And my appetite has decreased but what I like to eat has increased(I'm a picky eater). I wake up earlier which gives me more time during the day. My sex drive is way way up and Eric and I rarely argue anymore. I don't have to carry anything over 10 pounds and people are always willing to talk to me. I feel blessed.

I found out one of my friends is on her second pregnancy and due in like 2 weeks. I feel horrible. She and I were really close at one pont and now she's done so much and been through even more and I haven't been there for her. I had wanted to see her after she gave birth to her first son...I failed miserably. I just didn't make the time when I had it. I wonder often now if thats what will happen to me. Granted, I don't really fuck with anybody so there aren't people that could just drop out of my life, but still. Who'll disappear after Eric is born? As long as its not his daddy I think I'll be ok. I had a dream last night that we lived together and our son walked in on me sucking his dick. It was funny. I think it scarred him for life but in our defense I was sucking noisily and he didn't knock. He just bust in our shit(that's what they said-at our 3some) and started spazzing. Is it wrong that I hope that happens in reality?