Thursday, February 19, 2009

Soooo.....I'm Fucking Pregnant.

And honestly? I'm terrified. I've never been so scared in my life. But it's like an exhilirating fear....like what i imagine you'd feel before you jump off a cliff of dive from a plane. Or at least know you're going to do so in about 5 months. I'm assuming I'm approximately 4 months. Apparently, thats when milk starts leaking out the nips, and that totally happened. I still have to confirm at the doctors. I just know they're gonna tell me I'm 5 months and I'm gonna cry. Thats no time at all....... At least Eric's in this with me. I couldn't have asked for a better baby daddy. That feels so horrible to say. I wanted to be married and have my own place...well our own place......I wanted so much more than what i have. But I know the best thing you can give a kid is love and blah, blah, blah.

So I guess the nausea has passed. Before I even knew i was fucking pregnant. And Eric says he knew then. Well whoopdee fucking doo for him. I'll admit to denial. The thought of it scared the piss out of me. And now....the little flutters I feel in my stomach.....they scare me even more. I'm responsible for the well being of this human. This tiny, immobile, unable to speak, or walk, or dress itself little human. And I have to fucking name it too. That kept me awake last night. It feels weird knowing someone incredibly intimately and not even knowing thier name. I DON'T KNOW MY BABY'S NAME!!! Shit, at this point, I don't even know the sex. That is frustrating as hell.

17 weeks

That's what it should look like now. I can't wait til I'm all big and pregnant so I can go take pregnant pictures!!!!

I guess I want to keep a log of what I'm feeling and what we're doing as my pregnancy continues. I told Eric he's in charge of photographing my belly as it gets bigger and i plan on putting baby shower pictures up and shit like that. I don't really expect much from this blog. I just want to have something to show my child one day and say "Look at all the grief you caused me you petulant sack of penis bits!!". Well maybe not that exactly but along those lines.
Posted by at

5 comments:

  1. Gallardo BastardoFebruary 19, 2009 at 12:29 PM

    Audrey Jazz, though? Let's name the baby that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Gallardo BastardoFebruary 19, 2009 at 12:30 PM

    And you should change the layout. Black is very un"I'm-happy-about-pushing-a-living-thing-the-size-of-a-small-watermelon-out-of-my-vagina"

    ReplyDelete
  3. DKNY OH MY IM JIGGYFebruary 19, 2009 at 9:22 PM

    Ahhhh the truth about pregnancy .... You have to love it LOL

    I hate when chicks say im so happy, im not nervous, and it didnt really hurt at all, i was never uncomfortable..... In the back of my head im like this bitch cant be serious.

    Finally....the truth.

    ReplyDelete
  4. DKNY OH MY IM JIGGYFebruary 19, 2009 at 9:23 PM

    P.S. Congratulations!

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousFebruary 20, 2009 at 1:36 PM

    I understand the shock. like woah. I once had a pregnancy scare so I can't REALLY relate. But from E-Richs blog he sounds like a sweetheart and you, according to him, make an incredible pair. DOn't worry about things too much babies are just the most amazing thing ever and amazing things happen when they're around (this will only be understood in retrospect)

    Enjoy your pregnancy. I hope when I'm pregnant I found out as late as you. The idea of chilling with comething growing inside of me for nine months is like waiting for the floor to dry and you need to pee. TOO MUCH!!! Finding out now has its own blessing'

    Well, just continue blogging and you'llhave my virtual support. I know a lot about baby crap. Dirty habit I got in high school.:)

    Be good to yourself too :)

    <3 Paula

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)