And Just Like That....

...it's taken away from you. Being pregnant is probably the hardest and most tempestuous periods in a persons life. I am tired of my mood spiraling out of control CONSTANTLY.

So I'm a snitch. I'm ok with that....I think. Last week, while my parents were out of town, my little brother decided it would be ok to steal our older sisters car while she was at work. She was driving my mom's car while they were gone and left hers out front. I had no idea he was taking it every day. I would literally be sitting in the house every single day and not notice he was taking it. Eric told me he had, but I never saw it so technically, I couldn't prove anything. The next to last day of freedom, I was sitting out on the porch with my neice and watched my brother pull up in my sisters car. I hadn't even noticed it was gone off the block. I wouldn't be so upset with him if he had at least jokingly told our sister he was going to take her car. Or if he wasn't driving with an expired permitt. In a busted up 15 year old vehicle. Its like he didn't even consider the possibility of being pulled over and if he did he didn't care about what could happen to him. So I told my sister he was driving her car. And he was pissed with me. Especially since she took her key back from him. I wasn't suprised he was upset with me. i ruined his plans and his swag or whatever and I understand his frustration. What upset me was when I found out he lied to our sister and told her that i knew he had been driving it all along and that i was giving him money for gas and that the only reason I ratted him out was because he invited a person that I don't like over to the house. None of which was true. I may have fucked up his shit...but I never lied on him.

So today, he's at it again. My dad let him borrow his car to go to an orientation. At about maybe 10 this morning. He didn't come back until after 4 and hadn't called my father to let him know what was going on or why his fucking car was gone for so long. Orientations do not take that long and if they do it would be nothing but courteous to let my father know he was going to be out much longer. He says his phone died and I believe him but that doesn't mean he couldn't have found a way to let him know. This is someone's car. Thier means of transportation. You should definitely let them know what the fuck is going on with it. At any rate...my dad came downstirs all pissy because he didn't know where Jordan and his car was. I asked him why he let him take it anyway with an expired permitt. He didn't know. He had no idea that my brother's permitt was expired. Why the fuck....would you let anyone take your car without knowing for a fact their standings as far as being legally allowed to drive? They're both nitwits as far as I'm concerned.

My brother is pissed with me again. Because I let my father know he was driving illegaly. It'd be wrong of me to not let him know wouldn't it? Morally, I can't let that shit slide. If something were to happen to Jordan or to the car, my father would be at fault for allowing him to drive. Bottom line. And a person has the right to know that they're putting themselves in that situation with that responsibility. Jordan fails to realize this. I'm not trying to ruin his life I'm trying to save it. I care so much about his well-being that I don't care if he gets angry with me for trying to protect him. I don't want anyone letting his dumbass drive until he's legally able. And he can't even do it that well in my opinoin. Thats not saying much because I can't drive at all, but its still my opinion. At any rate...he booted me off the computer and he got a pissy attitude with me and I'm sad. I know its dumb...I just would like it if he understood why i snitched on him.

I think that my brother and sister are trying very hard to make me feel bad about the person that I am by constantly excluding me from thier lives. I know that they love me but I don't think they like me and that makes me so fucking sad. They think I "think funny". That I work things out weird in my brain. And that hurts because I'm just different from them, not weird. They like to insult me because they know I'll cry and I always have. You'd think that at 23 and 19 years old they'd stop harassing me but no....its worse. They just went to a Dane Cook show a few days ago. They never even asked me if I wanted to go. They go out all the time and don't think to include me. I know that I'm a read a book type of person but it'd make me feel a lot better if they at least considered asking me if I wanted to go. I don't know. I just don't fucking know. I can't even type anymore cuz I'm crying.