I Feel Like A Virgin

Not like a sex virgin. I just haven't post anything in such a long time.

So....whirlwind last 11 days or so. I've been happy and sad, and various other emotions that I don't really feel like explaining. What's most important right now, is that I'm scheduled for a NST tomorrow morning. And I'm very frightened.

"A NST may be performed if:

• You sense that the baby is not moving as frequently as usual
• You are overdue
• There is any reason to suspect that the placenta is not functioning adequately
• You are high risk for any other reason

The test can indicate if the baby is not receiving enough oxygen because of placental or umbilical cord problems; it can also indicate other types of fetal distress."

They told me that I needed one on Tuesday, and I immediately called Eric to find out exactly what it was. I knew that I had pregnancy induced hypertension, but now they say its chronic. I don't get it. I know that it won't just disappear in a few weeks and that they should continue to monitor me, but when I went on Tuesday it was 120/70 and that made me feel better. That doesn't mean anything. At all.

If they find out that the baby isn't responding well to the test, they're going to schedule me for labor. Like induce me. I do not want to have this baby anytime soon. And I know that me being stressed about it will probably make it that much worse. I'm freaking myself out again. I need to just chill the fuck out.

I went to go see my old high school teacher a couple of days ago. that was nice. I fell in love with high school all over again. Well....not high school in its entirety, but my involvement in Drama Club/Stage Crew. I was President for two years. One year officially, but pretty much two years. I just loved being in her classroom and seeing all the things that used to make me so happy. That room was my escape. The one place I could go for most all of high school and just feel....right. I really haven't felt like that anywhere else in life since. As long as theater is involved, I pretty much feel at home. Anyways...she was telling me about all the horrible changes that the graduating class is making to the school this year. Not to the school itself, but they're demolishing the traditions that have been in place for over 100 years. Western is the only public all girls high school in the entire nation. And it stinks now with these hussies fucking it up. I'd go into detail, but I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who cares. Lol.

Other than that I've been feeling pretty good. Physically as well as emotionally. I got all of our invitations mailed out. I don't remember if I had posted that the baby shower was set for June 13th. It is. I'm stressing about food and favors, but what happens, happens and I'm leaving it up to fate. I'm thinking about making all my female friends wear bikinis and have a car wash. They would like that....my friends are sluts. Yeah....I'll fill more in later. My fingers hurt and my brother is literally bitching like a pmsing whore because he can't get on line and talk to some whores. Swear to God, I'm sitting here typing this blog, and a girl sends him an IM that reads "hay". I asked him why he would talk to a girl that can't even take the time to spell a short greeting correctly. His reply? "Because she has a pussy."

You can't make this shit up folks.