I'm So Happy Spring Is Back!

I'm in love with music.

I always have been but lately I feel its one of the few things that completely takes the stress away from me. I've also started lighting incense again. That always works. I want music to be a big part of Eric's life. I doubt it could be anything else....both of his parents LOVE it so much.....I just wonder if his taste will be diverse. I like more R&B and classical music. Also a lot of oldies...like the funk mixes and shit. Eric loves rap. Not hard core kill a nigga rap but more mellow, introspective shit. That I appreciate. I just don't favor it. I've started being wary about putting headphones on my tummy though. He starts kicking and I can't tell if its a happy kick or if he's freaked out. I don't wanna scare my baby!!

I had a good talk with my father yesterday. About what he expected of me and me of myself. He's actually relieved I made it at least to 20. Of course we both would have liked me to be more settled in life and have a career and shit, but he's offered his support. I told him that I plan on going to like a trade school or something as soon as I can. I need to do something....get certified to something. So we can get a place and not have to rely so heavily on my parents and his mom. He's happy but wishes I could do something with my theater. Me too. I feel so....stupid for waiting this long to get serious about my life. I should have...! Shoulda, coulda, woulda but i didn't and now I can't be all sad and shit. I wonder how many successful actresses have made it after already having a child.

I had a doctors appointment this past wednesday. It went smoothly I guess. They're worried about my blood pressure being too high. It isn't at the moment, but its boderline. They don't seem to understand that I get anxious when I know I'm getting my pressure taken and that makes it higher. They're like..."Oh just calm down and we'll take it again later.". I was especially freaked out this past time because I knew I was getting all my test results back that let me know if I had anything. Like an STD or something. I've been with Eric for damn near 3 years but I still get nervous when I get tested. Especially because apparently, since I've been pregnant I've been with two other people(both girls thank you very much. And yes...Eric was well aware). Plus they tested for things with the baby to see if he's ok. That is STRESSFUL. So yeah, my blood pressure is bound to be a little high. I had to wait 2 weeks to find out that we're both healthy as fuck and we'll be ok. Talk about a load off my shoulders. They gave me a big orange bottle to fill up with my piss. At home over a 24-hour period. That was really horrible. It didn't even fit in the toilet. And taking it back to them on friday was even worse because I had to get on the bus and I was worried about it spilling on the floor or something. I don't know....carrying piss around isn't the greatest task you could ever want...thats all I'm saying.

So EricIII and I are doing just fine, I'm getting closer to my mom and dad, I bought my first maternity clothes, which look nice but don't fit the way I expected at all, and I'm happy. Oh and now when Eric and I have sex, I get to be on top which is a pretty hot twist. I mean I used to climb up there every once in a while but I'd mostly not feel like it. Now that I've read its recommended for pregnancy, I'm more into it. And its fucking HOT. Omg, the other day, I came rainbows. No lie.